Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – October

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

Dr. Toni Galardi


October Column


Autumn is officially here.  As someone who coaches people on the fear of change, I love the Fall. The green leaves turning such brilliant colors as they die.  Isn’t that a great metaphor for life? We are always in the process of dying every moment of our lives. The question is, do we live and die expressing our full passion in our work and relationships?

In keeping with my own philosophy, I decided to move to northern California because I always feel so joyous here.  What change can you make that would bring greater color to your leaves, I mean lives, that would make living the passing of each day without regret.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I have been following your column for a couple years now and I noticed on your website that you do dream interpretation. I don’t have the money to do phone coaching with you but I have had this dream I wondered if you could interpret.

I am approaching a forest like place but as I get closer, a tornado surrounds me. At first, I am frightened but it seems to move with me as I move toward the trees.  As I turn around and look behind me, my house has been destroyed. I keep moving and the tornado does not hurt me. When I go into the forest, it disappears. What do you think?

Dismayed in Berkeley

Dear Reader:

I do love working with people’s dreams. Dreams are a great vehicle for preparing for change. Dreams that involve natural disasters can often portend great changes in one’s life. Without knowing anything about your “day life” I would say this:  Your home may symbolize your foundation and security. The fact that it was destroyed but the tornado didn’t touch you is significant.

As you know, the eye of the tornado is often very peaceful so if you go into the center of yourself, perhaps through meditation, and yet keep moving forward, you will be safe. I also think that the metaphor of the forest is that “you might not be able to see the forest from the trees” in this transition, but, the lushness of the trees may represent that prosperity is coming from having ventured forth from all that was safe in your previous foundation. Just keep listening inside daily for what step to take next.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a divorced, single mother with two sons. I have my own business and do not go to bars. I am probably the last holdout in women my age who have not done internet dating. Because I have children, I question how safe it is to have men know my phone number and where I live.

What do you think about this for women who live alone with children?

Deborah H.

Dear Reader:

Dating period, is a crap shoot. Obviously, it is helpful to be introduced by a friend but the chances are slim of that happening very often so even if you meet someone in a class or at an event, you never know about people until you spend some time with them.

So, my advice is to get an answering service that is just where people can leave messages in cyberspace. They cost about $11 a month. If you don’t want them to have your number, many internet dating services have systems where you could communicate without your number being shown. Meet them away from your home and give out very little information until you feel comfortable that this is someone you want to see again.

However, I also would suggest that you release all fear and pre-conceived ideas about doing this new adventure. If you bring fear and paranoia to each date, you will draw out the worst in people. Internet dating gives you an opportunity to cast a wide net across the world. Be very specific in what you are looking for, share your authentic interests, and a picture that most looks like who you are now.

Good luck!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, public speaker, and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive ( not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. She can be reached through her website for speaking opportunities at http://www.LifeQuake.net or for phone consultation at 310-712-2600.

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