Ask the LifeQuake Doctor
Dear Dr. Toni:
As the new year is approaching, I am filled with fear that my life is never going to change. I am not in a relationship and my career is going nowhere. I know I am lucky to have a job but I’ve been getting sick lately a lot and I dread going there in the morning. I work long hours and have no time for a relationship even if I wanted one. I feel trapped and my life feels like it is over.
I don’t know if you can help, but you seem to give good advice to others so this is my last ditched effort to save myself from dying of boredom!
Frustrated in Sedona
As we enter this new year of 2011, instead of writing resolutions, perhaps another way of starting the year might be to look at what needs revolution. The word resolve has such a somber quality to it. According to the etymology dictionary online, the word revolution was first recorded in the English language in 1799 and was said to mean “to change a thing completely and fundamentally.” The word revolve comes from the Latin derivative, revolvere, to turn or roll back.
So, perhaps you need to go back to the past to see what beliefs you are holding which need to be reconstructed. Resolution may only approach this at the surface level of the mind and may be why we often don’t keep resolutions because the unconscious fears are never excavated.
You have bought into a mass consciousness that if you have a job, you should just thank your lucky stars. Sometimes the greatest grace people receive is getting fired so they are forced to think outside the box. The media only shows you the people who keep doing the same thing in their unemployment. They send out resumes only to have them rejected for two years and then end up in bankruptcy.
If your job is boring you AND you have no time for a personal life, getting sick is a wake up call. If you keep getting sick, you either need to reinvent the work you are doing or begin volunteering at a non-profit organization while you have a job. Find an issue you really care about and give time to an organization that supports change around that problem. The key is to have passion about something in your life. Step into 2011 as a revolutionary in your own life, who, like our founding fathers, can stand for both personal and global change. As trite as it sounds, your becoming authentic in your life before a crisis hits catalyzes change in the world.
The word LifeQuake means whatever is awakening you to the next level of your evolution. If you take a stand for revolution, your evolution doesn’t have to mean losing it all first to move forward.
Dear Dr. Toni:
I am contemplating moving to a new city. I saw your newsletter and column on your facebook page a few months ago and know that you made a big move up north so I thought you might be a good person to ask how to make a transition like that. I am self employed, my work has practically dissolved in Los Angeles and none of my usual tactics for marketing are working to drum up business so I figure I have nothing to lose.
My biggest fear is making friends at this age. I am 45. I do love my long time friends here and am not sure how to go about meeting people in a new place. What do you suggest?
I would begin building a bridge from where you are to where you are going. Ask people you know for names of people to contact and then make several visits before moving. You don’t indicate what your work is but you might want to find networking groups oriented toward your work and plan your trips to accommodate them.
Write to the people you were recommended to and ask them about any social or business functions they might invite or recommend you attend and then coordinate your schedule to get the most bang out of your trips. Given that friendship is clearly important to you, evaluate how community focused the people are in the area you are interested in moving to.
Being clear about your values and interests, always pick a place to move to whose culture will support them and you will encourage the smoothest transition and long term satisfaction. Marin County, for example, is very community focused and dedicated to environmental concerns. This was important to me: living in protected nature and having a spiritual community whose beliefs predominantly mirrored my own.
Making a point to take one authentic risk every week will revolutionize your life and accelerate your conscious evolution in 2011. Write to me and share your bold adventures!
To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking phone coaching, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310-712-2600. Her book The LifeQuake Phenomenon is available online through Amazon.com.