Spring Moves Forward as Mercury and Jupiter Retrogrades – What to Do Next

“It is only when we are truly alone without someone else to lean on; left with our own inner solitude that we can undergo a real process of change.
The introspection that is needed to bring out the light that has dwindled down to ash and reignite the fire of our being.
So let the darkness shape you, let it reform you, let it cradle you and birth you into a new life; a new way of being.
Let the spark flame again, in the darkness is where you will find it.”
― L.J. Vanier, Ether: Into the Nemesis
As we move closer to the time of Jupiter beginning its retrograde in Scorpio and Mercury entering its shadow on the very same day, a subtle gearing down of the winged messenger and the god of all things in abundance begins. We are being called to go within yet again. When Jupiter transits a planet in our chart in its direct motion, we often either experience its blessing of tangible gifts or its curse of arrogance, overextending or overindulging ourselves.
However, when Jupiter is in retrograde motion, it asks us to explore our inner terrain. What part of our soul wants to expand? Further, because Scorpio rules sex, death and transformation, what parts of the ego do we need to release for our own personal resurrection? Perfect timing with Easter on April 1.
The past 2 years I have been called to witness what you might call “medical life quakes”. Nine members of my family have either passed on or are facing grave diagnoses. When I was in the thick of it last week (one sudden death of my 49 year old cousin and my parents who live in different parts of the country being given terminal diagnoses) I started to absorb everyone’s suffering to the extent that I thought I was going over the edge.
After clearing them all with the help of my dear friend and colleague, Dr Jacqueline Chan, I realized today that I am being given the ultimate lesson around my relationship with suffering. When we are unable to provide a container for our own suffering, we cannot be with another’s, so we try to fix them or judge them so we don’t have to feel their pain or our own around their impending loss.
When I was told by my stepmother today that my almost 91 year old father was going to do chemotherapy, I got triggered. I ranted on facebook about the racket that oncologists have going preying on elderly people because medicare will pay for it. I then went for a walk and went into self inquiry. What was at the bottom of my being angry at this doctor and further, what have i not learned that this lesson of family suffering is still here to teach me?
I realized that if you are truly in the state of love, you dont take on your loved ones suffering and suffer. If you hold suffering as a high state of quickening, there is nothing to change.The astrological archetype of Scorpio is exemplified so beautifully through the transformation that takes place inside an oyster when through its encounter with grit and sand, the friction produces a pearl. My sense is that these 12 months of Jupiter in Scorpio ending in late October will bring many issue out of the shadow into the light around sexuality, ( The “Me,too” campaign launched that but there will be more to learn on this subject), our financial structure, and how we manage chaos. Are you on a Phoenix bird journey or like the scorpion, do you stay attached to how things are, holding on,resisting change until it poisons you?
I will talk more about Mercury retrograde as we get closer to it but I invite you to get your computer and other technological devices up to speed now. Make decisions that you can’t put off until mid April when Mercury goes direct, NOW, like before March 7th if possible. On March 8th, Jupiter calls us home to our inner teacher as it also rules higher knowledge and gurus and on the same day, Mercury asks of us also to turn within and work with our shadow selves as it literally enters its shadow before officially going retro.
On the lighter side, use this time to discover what brings you joy… now. Although it is one of my exercises in helping people find their next life calling to look into their lives at where their energy goes up, I invite you to play also with leaning into suffering. Notice what makes you suffer. Is it traffic or your lunch order getting screwed up or someone else’s pain? Here is another possibility: breathe into wherever your body is constricting and do your version of “let go, let God” or if you’re Italian, Che sara’, sara’. That was my agnostic Italian grandmother’s version of surrender. As you soften into the pain or discomfort, it will slowly melt. If you practice this throughout the entire retrograde of Jupiter into mid summer, when it turns direct, I promise full enlightenment! (just kidding, my metaphysical Billy Graham coming-out there). As I let out my full Jupiter before the retro, I will swing out and say, that if you don’t waste your suffering by merely suffering and instead lean in with the light behind you, joy is bound to follow. Why else would we have so many Jewish comedians?
In closing, I invite you to come play with me on the one on one. Of all the things I do professionally, personal coaching is my favorite because of the intimacy and trust that it takes for people to allow themselves the gift of transformation. To all of you who have worked with me and to those who will work with me ( in some undefinable time and/or dimension), I thank you for having given me the opportunity to serve you and support the pearl of a soul that you already are! Let’s all hold for each other, a lovely journey home this month…
In deep gratitude for you,
Dr. Toni