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November 11 2018

Dr. Toni Dr. Toni's Five Minute Tips career change coaching, change management, chaos, crisis management, fear of change, lie purpose, stress management 0

“Everything is numbers and to know numbers is to know thyself.”

Pythagoras (580-500 BC)

Over 2500 years ago, (c. 580 – 500 BC) the Greek philosopher and mathematician, Pythagoras, believed that the world was built on the power of numbers. According to Pythagoras theory, everything in the universe is composed of mathematical patterns that have an effect on human nature; meaning that all things can be expressed in numbers that correspond to universal vibrations. These vibrations interact with the electromagnetic field of humanity. In this way, Pythagoras believed, numbers are the keys that unlock the secrets of the universe and nature.

I have been studying the influence that numbers have on human beings for twenty- five years. It is one of the reasons I include it in a soul blueprint session with my clients. By calculating a person’s life path number, destiny number, heart’s desire, public persona, and personal year vibration, as well as their astrology chart, I can best observe repeating themes in their soul contract. Further, there are also numbers that affect mass consciousness. As some of you may know, the entire planet has been experiencing the personal year vibration of 11.

11 is a master number, the number of light and light workers. Many people in the “lime – light” who end up as humanitarians are born under this number – Elizabeth Taylor, Jacqueline Kennedy, Anthony Robbins, and both Barack and Michelle Obama.

So today we celebrate the 11/11 vibration with an added power to it, as it is in an 11 year. When we add these numbers up, we get 33, the number of the Christ Consciousness. Developing the Christ’s consciousness comes down to one simple notion: “bring love to it.” Whatever the thought, bring love to it. On this auspicious day of 11/11/11 (2018 – 2 plus 1 plus 8), practice moving your thoughts to love and when you fall back into the ego’s trap of judging, love that, too!

In my book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon, after we have discovered what you are here to do next with your life purpose in stage five, I introduce the concept of sacred geometry for manifesting the new design. I give as a tool to repeat certain master numbers in order to manifest your greatest heart’s desires. One of those is the phrase: “I now vibrate to the frequency of 11/33/44”. This will take you to the Inner Self and so will just repeating, “I am 11/11/11”.

This week we have a lot of planets moving signs or changing direction. Jupiter just went into its home sign of Sagitarrius for the next year. This should be a lucky year for those with personal planets in the sign of Sag. If you are a writer aspiring to get a book published, a teacher, or world traveler, Jupiter going into its home sign can be lucky for you. It also rules the law and law suits. Mercury officially goes retrograde on Friday, Nov 16 although it is already in its shadow (making its mischief with my mail, missing items from UPS like shower curtain hooks, and movers who damaged the property I am renting). On the very same day, Venus goes direct. So, it becomes ok to fall in love again, just don’t sign any contracts until mid December!

If you can hold off doing your Christmas shopping until around the 10^thof December, I would pass on Black Friday, that is of course unless you are moving homes and the deals are just too good to pass up! Wink, wink. I moved my primary residence to Asheville, NC and have no furniture yet except a desk and a bed. I will still be traveling back to the West Coast occasionally to see friends and clients but Asheville is my new home and my work will continue as it has been, predominantly SKYPE, ZOOM or by phone.

And speaking of homes, one of the best things we can do for our physical and mental health is to reduce or eliminate our exposure to often hidden toxins in our home environment. It isn’t enough to eat organic food if your home is making you tired or off balance. My dear friend and colleague Beth Greer has an online course that will teach you how. Here’s the link to register. It starts this Tuesday night! healthyhomecourse.com

So in summary, lots of shifting energy this week, folks. If you spend some time every day between Nov 11 and Nov 17 focusing on merging whatever your ego identifies your self worth with into BEING divine love, you will have access to great vibrational quickening that not only opens your heart more fully, but allows for greater resilience as we move through this intense shift taking place globally . A portal is definitely opening. I felt it last Wed, Nov 7^thwhile I was teaching a virtual class. My body went through quite a download of new energy that I am excited to share with you both on the one on one through coaching and a new course starting after the next big Solar Eclipse on Jan 6, 2019. As you move through this week, remember that in all quickenings, first there is chaos as the old form dies and then rebirth for all of us.

Enjoy the ride!

With great love and affection,

Dr. Toni

Order your copy today! www.LifeQuake.net

August 14 2018

Solar eclipse in Leo Healing Fear Newsletter and Recording

Dr. Toni Dr. Toni's Five Minute Tips change, chaos, crisis, economic crisis, life purpose, life transition, stress management 0

Wow! What intense energy has been coming through everyone’s lives lately, no? Yesterday, we began the next and final solar eclipse for the year in the sign of Leo. For the next few days, we are in the power of a super new moon energy. This is a good week for starting new projects. If you can wait util next week, even better when Mercury goes direct.

If you haven’t set your intention yet for the next five months, here is another opportunity attached here through the replay of the solar eclipse healing transmission that I co-led with Daniela Carraro, a very gifted Qi Gong teacher and healer. We began weaving the intentions of everyone who participated days in advance right up to the program.

Even if you participated, I invite you to listen to it again and feel a deeper restructuring of your body/mind/spirit. Due to technical glitches, we had to re-record the opening and closing ( thank you Mercury!). The deep hypnotic state this recording produces will allow you to put clear, deeply relaxed, unblocked enthusiasm behind your intentions.

Please make sure you have a glass of water and something to write on and with (along with your written out intentions for the rest of the year).

There will be an opportunity during Daniela’s healing transmission to speak your intention out loud so please listen to this when you are in a quiet place and can be alone without phones or computer going.

On some people’s computer, the replay will give you a choice of apps, click on Music player for Google Drive. There is a little arrow at top on my iPhone that you click on after clicking on the link below and then it immediately takes you there.

We are launching a new program that includes this recording as the first, which is our gift to you. You are invited to further participate In a once a month tune up on the new moon for the next five months that will include the first Solar Eclipse of the new year on Jan.6th, 2019.

As every new moon is a new cycle for beginning new intentions, you will have two hours with us each month where you will have an opportunity to ask questions and/or share your intentions with the group support each month to help you launch a solid yet agile foundation as you move into the “rock and roll year of 2019” which really begins on January 6, not January 1st, astrologically speaking.

We have an early bird discount of $197 for the entire 10 hours with two powerful Italian healers. Heh, my mission is change mastery, Italian style so you get to experience two blonde Italian teachers for the price of one! This price is only good until Monday, Aug 20. The price will go up to $247 until Aug 27 and for anyone signing up after that until Sep 9th, the day of the next new moon, the cost will be $297. Although we are so gratified that we had such a big response to this program yesterday, we really want a select group of people to get personal support from us for manifesting miracles this year. The participants in this program are people who are committed to having a breakthrough, so we are limiting the number to 30 people total.

Although these will also be available on replay, (no more new moons during a mercury retrograde, yea!), here are the new moon dates: Sunday, Sep 9th 7:00 PM, PDT Monday October 8th at 7:30 PM, PDT, Wed. Nov 7th 7:00 PM PST, Friday Dec 7, 9:00 AM, PST, and the next Solar Eclipse, Sunday January 6, 9:00 AM, PST 2019.

The next new moon program on Sep 9th will begin just a few days after Saturn goes direct. I have been advising my clients to work with the Saturn retrograde on where your internal blocks to success live now. I will be teaching you how to use rather than be abused by Saturn (rules the father archetype in each of us, how do we provide and protect ourselves, as well as, our mission and purpose in life) for achieving your deepest dreams tangibly. Daniela will then give us a healing transmission for releasing the karmic barriers that Saturn extends in our soul blueprint and you will have an opportunity to verbalize to the group and the world your intentions for that month.

To get the early bird discount and save $100, go to drtonigalardi.com/products and scan down to bottom of page to pay on Activating Miracles on the New Moon Series.

I am also extending to anyone reaching out to me from this newsletter, a full soul blueprint reading or 90 min healing session with me for $300 (normally $400), until the end of August.

Here is my complimentary gift to you. May it heal you in the best possible way!

Remember, if you are listening on your computer, click on the open arrow to access Google Drive.

The last healing can be listened to over and over for deeper transmutation.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EGLIpFu-zPZpQGVp51VVfJ8HnoKvqHgD/view?usp=sharing

Con Molto Amore,

Dr. Toni

August 3 2018

Solar Eclipse in Leo and A Week of Great Acceleration

Dr. Toni Dr. Toni's Five Minute Tips astrology for August 2018, career change, change management, chaos, crisis, fear of change, life transition 0

“True freedom is when all the stories, all the insights, all the realizations, concepts, beliefs and positions dissolve. What remains is what you are; a vast, conscious, luminous space simply resting in itself, not knowing a thing, at the point where all things are possible.”

― Enza Vita

“Om is the God of love. Like a loving mother, Chanting Om cleans us of our clutters collected through many incarnations.”

― Banani Ray

“

The Summer of Great Change – August Eclipse

In all of my 27 years as an astrologer, I can honestly say I have never seen such a line up of intense light pouring onto the planet as the last 6 weeks, and next week it ratchets up even further. The frequency shift is reconstructing us all, if we let it.

The week leading up to the last solar eclipse of the year on August 11 is a doozy! I know I sound repetitive from what we experienced leading up to the lunar eclipse but it is that kind of summer, folks.

Before I get into next week’s “excitement”, I want to invite you to a free event I am co-leading with Daniela Carraro to celebrate the solar eclipse and the ushering in of the next six month cycle. Details are below but please email me at drtoni@drtonigalardi.com if you want to be a part of this event. Space is limited to 100 people.

Uranus (the great awakener and planet that triggers earthquakes and lightning bolts) will station retrograde on August 7 until January 6^th, 2019, the very same day as the next solar eclipse in Capricorn. On Tuesday, this will give us six planets retrograde on the same day that the moon is void (stay grounded), including Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto.

Having six planets retrograde is a very rare occurrence, happening only less than 1% of the time, that’s 2/3 of one percent. Mars is not only retrograde but also out-of-bounds for three days (allowing for the energy to be unconstrained by other planets), adding to the intensity of the chaotic collective energy we are all creating. As the god of war, Mars energy stimulates extremism at this time, creating an atmosphere ripe for accidents and outbursts of focused anger.

A shooting in Trader Joe’s, earthquakes, and political volatility escalating, all exemplified this in recent weeks. The dominant planetary energy will be fixed, very Taurus in nature. Taurus’ hate change. Wherever the planet Taurus is or rules in your natal chart may be where you resist change and seek external security the most. These six planets retrograde bring a feeling of being stuck, or mired down as forward progress seems difficult at best, due to unexpected delays and roadblocks. If I were the universe and I wanted humans to take a break from DOING so much and focus on BEING, I would have planned it this way. Spend as much time as you can for the next 10 days, releasing the past and all your old stories about yourself. Emotional and mental detoxing is the doing to be doing.

Further, it is always important to be uber aware when either Mercury or Mars are retrograde, but because we have four days that the moon is void next week (which by itself can make people spacy, feisty, and unaware as they drive the freeways, and apparently… do their food shopping!), please move more slowly, meditate daily if you can, drink lots of water laced with trace minerals, chant Om to yourself all day long and commune with nature. Get your cute little dew beaters (look that one up!) into Mother Earth as much as possible.

What also to do: I would invite you to make a point on Aug 3, 7^th, 9^th,and 11^th( the spaciest days) to visualize extending your auric field out by 3-6 ft in a bubble of light safe and loved by all whom you come into contact with while projecting that to others as well as you move through your life while your root chachra is connected downward toward Gaia.

Although the new moon solar eclipse is on August 11 at 2:57AM PDT, it immediately goes void until 9:30 PM PDT, that night. What we know about the energy of intentions is that because the moon rules our emotional body, we won’t feel the crystallization of the intention until it reaches the sign of Virgo. When the moon is void, there isn’t the fire of connectivity that happens when it aspects another planet.

So, once again, to support all of you, I am co-leading a 90 – minute invocation and workshop on Sunday morning, August 12th with Daniela Carraro, a gifted healer and Qi Gong master teacher. This is my gift to you. Space is limited so sign up and we will send the link for this online event: drtoni@drtonigalardi.com

I will cover what the energy of this summer is bringing and how to use it in the Fall, the significance of these three eclipses that we wont see again for 2 hundred years, and how to receive the archetypes of Cancer, Leo, and Aquarius through these three eclipses as they are imprinted in your very own matrix. We both will be taking you through very powerful visualizations to bring this new energy deep into your cells. When you sign up, you will have an opportunity to send us your intention for the next six months that will be weaved into our sacred energetic basket that you begin to step into when you sign up.

As this is a solar eclipse in Leo, the archetype that rules play, come play with us in this powerful circle where desires and rewiring can be manifested quickly in the next six months! Contact me asap through drtoni@drtonigalardi.com for the link. This will fill up.

Molto Amore,

Dr. Toni

March 18 2018

Hoarding – The Addiction No One Talks About – Counselor Magazine

Dr. Toni Ask the LifeQuake Doctor addiction, addiction to chaos, chaos, crisis, crisis ma, crisis management, fear of change, hoarding addiction, lifequake method, mothers under stress 0

Dear Dr. Galardi:

I am a physician who treats morbidly obese patients for weight loss. I have three children and a boyfriend. I am 50 years old and because I am prominent in my community have not felt safe reaching out to my colleagues with my issue. Given that I have never had an eating disorder myself or substance abuse issue, I never really thought of my problem as an addiction but I read your column and thought I would get your opinion.

I have a hard time letting go of stuff. Real stuff. My children’s baby clothes, their toys when they were small, clothes I haven’t worn in years, etc. I spend $700 a month on a storage unit I never go to. If I need something that I know is somewhere in storage, I just go buy it new rather than bother to rummage through all the boxes. I have spent $40,000 on this storage unit in total so far but when I think of giving it up, my nervous system goes into a panic. I feel that I have been on my own since I was a kid

My mother died when I was 7 years old and my father sent me and my brother to live with an aunt and we were only allowed to bring one bag of clothes. We had to leave our toys behind. There is something about having all that stuff in storage that gives me a good feeling. My house also is packed with too much stuff. My fiance’ thinks I have an addiction and I wanted to check this out with you. What I do know is that I am wasting good money and it does give me a feeling of security knowing that storage unit is there. So, what do you think?

“Dr. Pack Rat”

Dear Reader:

From what you have described I would say that you do indeed have an addiction. When a person gets emotional security from something outside him/herself that is costing them in some way, then there is a compulsion present. It is costing you money to keep this storage unit, clutter in your home, it is providing a bad role model for your children, and your fiance’ is now getting upset. Hoarding is an addiction.

Losing your mother at the age of 7 and if you had to go live with your aunt, losing your father as well and most of your worldly possessions is traumatic. It has left a deep wound inside of you. You mentioned that you work with people who have an eating disorder and you have never had a food issue or substance abuse issue. Perhaps this issue is meant to serve you in terms of upping your compassion for people who compulsively eat or use. Unless someone has had an addiction can they really understand the irrationality of doing something that creates loss in the long run and provides emotional stability artificially. Your childhood wound and chosen profession qualifies you to embody what is called “the wounded healer.” Someone who has taken their childhood wound and followed a path of healing for others.

Further, you also mention that despite having a boyfriend, you feel you’ve been on your own since childhood. My advice is to do this practice every day: at the end of the day before bed, write out either on your phone note section or computer or by hand in a journal, how you were supported today. Scan through the day and note kindnesses extended to you by others, ways people helped you, how your children contribute to you, your boyfriend. Begin sorting through your life how the universe is supporting you. Now feel into this support in your body. This will begin to change the neurotransmitters and re-pattern the early trauma.

I also recommend a 12 step program for clutter – Clutterers Anonymous. To quote from their program: “ We admitted we were powerless over clutter—that our lives had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.”

May you find serenity and greater empathy for those you serve through this healing journey of your own.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon and a well known consultant/expert on career repurposing as part of recovery in the addiction field. She has been the advice columnist for Counselor Magazine for 7 years.

If you have a question for The LifeQuake Doctor, you can write to her through: drtoni@drtonigalardi.com or by calling 310-890-6832. She works by phone and SKYPE in private practice. Her website is http://www.thelifequakedoctor.com

March 9 2018

A tidbit of Chapter One of LifeQuake

Dr. Toni From the LifeQuake Desk career boredom, change management, change mastery, chaos, hero's journey, life transition 0

CHAPTER 1

The Heat Wave: Subtle Tremors

We are so accustomed to disguising ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves. ~

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, 1613-1680

In the opening chapter the reader is shown how the sociological, psychological, and environmental crises occurring on a grand scale are in fact catalysts, prompting each of us to evolve in our own lives. Our collective chaos is fueling a push toward greater personal adaptation to accelerated change.

The concept of a “LifeQuake” is introduced as the result of resisting change — yet also the emergence of a new self accompanied by inevitable birthing pains. In its first- stage subtleties, a LifeQuake often goes unrecognized. Tell-tale signs include boredom, restlessness, and irritability. What is misunderstood, if not totally overlooked, is that these are symptoms of an old life that’s been outgrown. Not surprisingly, this is when resistance to change is strongest. Without recognition of the process, it may be hard to identify that these symptoms signal the dawn of a more authentic life and higher level
of consciousness.

Through a questionnaire that has been given to thousands of people over the years, this chapter helps readers identify which stage of their LifeQuake is operative. Then it reviews the impact of Stage One on lifestyle, workplace, relationships, and health, while providing tangible strategies for mastering change in each of these areas.

How to start building a new ‘faultless’ foundation when the old one starts to crack open is described, accompanied with an explanation of the building elements for that stage.

In Chapter One, the building elements are Keen Observation and Listening. Each chapter contains a toolbox section with practical exercises to assist in transitioning to the next stage. The tool box exercises in Chapter 1 are:

LIGHT, CAMERA, ACTION (a visualization to start the day)
TAKING YOUR EMOTIONAL PULSE (a tool to be used periodically throughout the
day),
DOTMAKING YOUR DESTINY (throughout the day)
MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL (exercise to be practiced at the end of each day).
As with all heroic journeys, there are distinct tasks that help with developing change mastery. At the end of this chapter and those following, these tasks are shown as bulleted checkpoints summarizing the first leg of the LifeQuake journey. These are meant to be guide posts not judgmental criteria for how well you are doing.

March 7 2018

Spring Moves Forward as Mercury and Jupiter Retrogrades – What to Do Next

Dr. Toni Dr. Toni's Five Minute Tips change management, chaos, crisis, Jupiter in Scorpio retrograde, mercury retrograde, stress 0

“It is only when we are truly alone without someone else to lean on; left with our own inner solitude that we can undergo a real process of change.

The introspection that is needed to bring out the light that has dwindled down to ash and reignite the fire of our being.

So let the darkness shape you, let it reform you, let it cradle you and birth you into a new life; a new way of being.

Let the spark flame again, in the darkness is where you will find it.”

― L.J. Vanier, Ether: Into the Nemesis

As we move closer to the time of Jupiter beginning its retrograde in Scorpio and Mercury entering its shadow on the very same day, a subtle gearing down of the winged messenger and the god of all things in abundance begins. We are being called to go within yet again. When Jupiter transits a planet in our chart in its direct motion, we often either experience its blessing of tangible gifts or its curse of arrogance, overextending or overindulging ourselves.

However, when Jupiter is in retrograde motion, it asks us to explore our inner terrain. What part of our soul wants to expand? Further, because Scorpio rules sex, death and transformation, what parts of the ego do we need to release for our own personal resurrection? Perfect timing with Easter on April 1.

The past 2 years I have been called to witness what you might call “medical life quakes”. Nine members of my family have either passed on or are facing grave diagnoses. When I was in the thick of it last week (one sudden death of my 49 year old cousin and my parents who live in different parts of the country being given terminal diagnoses) I started to absorb everyone’s suffering to the extent that I thought I was going over the edge.

After clearing them all with the help of my dear friend and colleague, Dr Jacqueline Chan, I realized today that I am being given the ultimate lesson around my relationship with suffering. When we are unable to provide a container for our own suffering, we cannot be with another’s, so we try to fix them or judge them so we don’t have to feel their pain or our own around their impending loss.

When I was told by my stepmother today that my almost 91 year old father was going to do chemotherapy, I got triggered. I ranted on facebook about the racket that oncologists have going preying on elderly people because medicare will pay for it. I then went for a walk and went into self inquiry. What was at the bottom of my being angry at this doctor and further, what have i not learned that this lesson of family suffering is still here to teach me?

I realized that if you are truly in the state of love, you dont take on your loved ones suffering and suffer. If you hold suffering as a high state of quickening, there is nothing to change.The astrological archetype of Scorpio is exemplified so beautifully through the transformation that takes place inside an oyster when through its encounter with grit and sand, the friction produces a pearl. My sense is that these 12 months of Jupiter in Scorpio ending in late October will bring many issue out of the shadow into the light around sexuality, ( The “Me,too” campaign launched that but there will be more to learn on this subject), our financial structure, and how we manage chaos. Are you on a Phoenix bird journey or like the scorpion, do you stay attached to how things are, holding on,resisting change until it poisons you?

I will talk more about Mercury retrograde as we get closer to it but I invite you to get your computer and other technological devices up to speed now. Make decisions that you can’t put off until mid April when Mercury goes direct, NOW, like before March 7th if possible. On March 8th, Jupiter calls us home to our inner teacher as it also rules higher knowledge and gurus and on the same day, Mercury asks of us also to turn within and work with our shadow selves as it literally enters its shadow before officially going retro.

On the lighter side, use this time to discover what brings you joy… now. Although it is one of my exercises in helping people find their next life calling to look into their lives at where their energy goes up, I invite you to play also with leaning into suffering. Notice what makes you suffer. Is it traffic or your lunch order getting screwed up or someone else’s pain? Here is another possibility: breathe into wherever your body is constricting and do your version of “let go, let God” or if you’re Italian, Che sara’, sara’. That was my agnostic Italian grandmother’s version of surrender. As you soften into the pain or discomfort, it will slowly melt. If you practice this throughout the entire retrograde of Jupiter into mid summer, when it turns direct, I promise full enlightenment! (just kidding, my metaphysical Billy Graham coming-out there). As I let out my full Jupiter before the retro, I will swing out and say, that if you don’t waste your suffering by merely suffering and instead lean in with the light behind you, joy is bound to follow. Why else would we have so many Jewish comedians?

In closing, I invite you to come play with me on the one on one. Of all the things I do professionally, personal coaching is my favorite because of the intimacy and trust that it takes for people to allow themselves the gift of transformation. To all of you who have worked with me and to those who will work with me ( in some undefinable time and/or dimension), I thank you for having given me the opportunity to serve you and support the pearl of a soul that you already are! Let’s all hold for each other, a lovely journey home this month…

In deep gratitude for you,

Dr. Toni

October 21 2011

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor – October issue/ Vision Magazine

Dr. Toni Ask the LifeQuake Doctor, Dr. Toni's Five Minute Tips, News change management, chaos, corporate trainings, transgender 0

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor

October 2011

Dear Readers:

As we enter the season of change when things in nature reach their fruition and then begin to deteriorate, so are the cycles of life. The wise person notices when aspects of their life are no longer vital and begins to plan for the next chapter. Unfortunately, most of us are so busy living life from our routines that we don’t take the time to notice that a new blueprint is emerging for our lives. Currently, the world is in great evolutionary transition, this emerging new reality is appearing as a state of chaos.

In January, I am beginning a new teleclass series to prepare us for entering 2012 with greater resilience and centeredness along with an opportunity to design a life that fulfills your greatest potential self even if it currently feels a bit chaotic. I hope you will join me on this exciting adventure.

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a psychotherapist so have never written to an advice columnist before. I have been involved with a wealthy man for the past six months. My career is in transition. I am hoping to become a professional speaker to augment my income. My boyfriend has been paying for my marketing efforts and medical bills.

Recently, he told me that he didn’t think we were a long term fit because I am not masterful at being a domestic engineer, something he says he wants in a wife and I don’t share his passion for hard rock and roll and water skiing. The confusion for me is that we have this amazing intimate relationship sexually, spiritually, and psychologically and it has gotten even better in the last month. He said he is not interested in anyone else and doesn’t want to end our relationship but just doesn’t want to get my hopes up that we will get married. I do want to get married. I am in my 50’s as is he, so there is no urgency to find someone to father my children as I do not have children.

Should I continue the relationship?

Dazed and Confused in Chicago

Dear Reader:

Most shrinks would advise you to get out. I see this a little differently. My question to you is, what are your relationship needs at this time? Can you stay in the present and really enjoy this relationship as a love affair or will you find yourself getting angry because he doesn’t see you as wife material?

If he wasn’t wealthy and you knew this was not long term, would you continue? What are you learning in the relationship that has nothing to do with what he provides for you financially? You say you want to get married? Why? And what will you learn from being with this man that will support you in evolving into the woman you want to be who is ready for marriage?

Most of my responses to you are questions rather than answers, as you can see. Given that you are a psychotherapist, I sense you are better served by this line of inquiry than direct advice.

Good luck and have fun!

Dear Dr. Toni

I am a trans-gender man who has been in a long – term relationship with a woman. She and I were lovers when I was still a woman. Recently, I have noticed that I am more interested in women who are either heterosexual or just very feminine lesbians. There is a woman at my work who has expressed an interest in me. She knows I am a trans-gender man.

I love my wife and don’t want to divorce her but this desire for other women has been growing for the past year. What should I do? Should I tell her or just play it out once and see if my attraction has any substance? I love your column and would be most appreciative if you respond to questions like this.

John A.

Dear John:

I admire your courage in reaching out and in following your heart on changing genders. Like all couples, when you are in a long – term relationship, a point comes where boredom sets in and the desire for someone different than the spouse we have often manifests. The question I have is, have you openly talked about these feelings with your wife? Talk about it in terms that do not indicate you are going to act on them but want to explore what the attraction is. Would it matter if your wife dressed in more feminine clothing or sexy lingerie? Is there anything in your sex life that you would like changed or expanded?

I would urge you not to do what has been historically true with heterosexual men and just act out of an inclination or titillation. Also, consider seeing a marriage counselor if you need a third party professional to work this through with.

All the best to you.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, career coach, public speaker, organizational consultant, and the author of the book, The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval.

To submit questions for “Ask the LifeQuake Doctor” or if you would like to consult Dr. Galardi for SKYPE or phone coaching, she can be reached through her website at http://www.LifeQuake.net or 310-890-6832. Enrollment for her new teleclass begins Oct 5.

September 12 2009

Ask The LifeQuake Doctor – September Column in Vision Magazine

Dr. Toni Ask the LifeQuake Doctor anti-depressants, change, chaos, coach, crisis, depression 0

Ask The LifeQuake Doctor
September, 2009

Dear Dr. Toni:
I am a very healthy fifty four year – old businessman. I exercise, eat a healthy diet, am not over weight, etc. I am financially successful and from the outside everything looks “right”. I went through a divorce a year ago and I spend a lot of mental time in the past and thinking how it used to be. From the outside, I am envied by many people and I do a lot to project and protect my “image”. I am currently taking Paxil, trying homeopathy, doing energy psychology and seeing an herbal MD who is giving me teas to take. I am still suffering and nothing seems to help. Do you have any other ideas or am I destined to this “life” forever? Any insight at all would be much appreciated.
Desperate in San Diego

Dear Desperate:
I can appreciate how difficult and frustrated you must be given that you are doing “all the right things”. I am not sure what “energy psychology” involves but there are two things you mention that bear addressing: “I spend a lot of time in the past and I do a lot to project and protect my image.”
How comfortable are you with vulnerability? SSRI’s like Paxil for depression do take you out of the depths of despair but actually sitting with your feelings right here and now, not the past can allow you to be more authentic and less prone to protecting your image. Do you let people get close? Part of intimacy is rooted in showing your humanity, warts and all.

If you are looking back a lot, perhaps you are filled with regret about your choices while you were married. I would encourage you to find a good psychotherapist to work with and do an evaluation with an orthomolecular psychiatrist – a physician who is trained in treating mood disorders with amino acid therapy, essential fatty acids and certain herbal remedies for brain balance. In Los Angeles, Hyla Cass, M.D. is the “go to doc” in this area and David Gersten, M.D. is located in Encinitas.
Good luck!

Hello Dr Toni :
I just read your column in VISION MAGAZINE. You are quite skilled and exceptionally compassionate. I seem to have the opposite dis-ease — I move and change CONSTANTLY. It is probably the same issue, just opposite side of the coin? i don’t have family, have WONDERFUL friends, not sure where I’m to be, how to ground and connect to the earth. I forever say — it will take a man to settle me down. Yet, I’m SUPER READY to ground. A friend thinks it’s a feeling of being trapped. help!!!!!!!
Thanks, Dr Toni –
Georgia

Dear Georgia:
If it is in your nature to constantly change, in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Most people have the opposite problem – fear of change. For them, change translates as loss. It sounds like from your description that staying rooted feels like you will lose something, such as freedom. Your possible solution of getting into a relationship as a way of grounding you is superficial at best and ineffective, if not downright, destructive at worst. Anytime we use something external to ground us, especially a person, we are at risk of then becoming ungrounded again if they leave. More importantly, relationships take a lot of work and commitment. You don’t always get the freedom you have as a single person so you really have to be ready to compromise some of your impulses for the sake of loving another, being in service to another human being as well as serving the relationship. It is definitely in and of itself a life path and for some, a spiritual path not to be taken cavalierly.

I would recommend getting into some counseling to examine what your fears are of staying in one place and not moving on so quickly. There are also certain physical practices such as Qi Gong that can help with grounding your body to the earth’s energy once you have emotionally decided you really want this. Try this: Imagine you are a tree. What tree would you be? A willow that bends with the winds of change but still has deep roots in the earth or an oak that provides shade for both the planet and humans who want to sit under it and be protected from the sun. Think about all the trees you’ve enjoyed. Which one attracts you most? There is a Qi Gong exercise called standing tree that can help with staying grounded through the day. Google it for instructions.

Dear readers:
Well, the summer is almost over and the season of change is about to begin – Autumn. I love this time of year. Like the leaves that turn color as they begin to die, letting go of old defunct habits and/or life circumstances can have the same effect. Recognizing that a cycle is ending can bring color back to your life where it might have grown stale.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, career coach, and author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon: How to Thrive (not just survive) in Times of Personal and Global Upheaval. Her website address is www. LifeQuake.net. For personal consultation , please call 310-712-2600.

July 3 2009

Ask the LifeQuake Doctor Advice Column

Dr. Toni Ask the LifeQuake Doctor change, chaos, creative problem solving, crisis, economic crisis, stress, stress management, the lifequake method, tough economic times 0

LifeQuake™

Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor

Dr. Toni Galardi

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am an entrepreneur who was doing quite well in my business until last year. I know I need to give up the freedom I’ve had in my career and get a job, but every time I think of letting go of my business, I get a panic attack. I don’t want to go on medication. I’m afraid that if I see a doctor, that is what he/she will recommend. Can you suggest the best way for me to handle the stress and chaos I am experiencing during this career transition?

Terrified in Toronto

Dear Friend:

Before you can resolve the outer decision about your business, it is important to learn how to quiet the mind and the nervous system so that you can access your inner wisdom.

When we are at peace within, not only are we able to get to our gut intuition, but we can open to a universal intelligence. Albert Einstein spoke about the idea that there is an unlimited force in the universe that we can tap into for answers. Here is an exercise from my book The LifeQuake Phenomenon and The LifeQuake Method CD that can help to calm your brain and nervous system to allow for greater access to creative solutions.

Re-patterning Your Blueprint Meditation

Read the exercise in its entirety first. Sit or lie down comfortably in a position that supports your entire body. If you’re on the floor, put pillows under your knees. If you’re sitting, make sure your back is supported and your feet are touching the floor.

Now close your eyes. Breathe in to the count of five, and then out to the count of five. With each breath you take, feel yourself becoming more deeply relaxed. Now allow your awareness to move to the top of your head. Begin to experience your radiant light energy entering the top of your head. This begins the recognition of your full potential self. With each breath you take, set the intention of allowing this light to enter your brain.

Continue breathing in and out. As you breathe in now, allow your entire brain to be bathed in this light. If you find it easy to visualize, see it gently entering into the top of your head and permeating the entire circumference of your brain. If visual imagery doesn’t come readily for you, simply allow for a feeling to emerge as light enters into your crown and surrounds your head. This light is imprinting a new pattern into the neuropathways of your brain. Now allow this light to expand and spread through your entire nervous system. You don’t have to know how to do this. Just breathe it in with your intention.

Now breathe the light deeply into the front of your head, relaxing your temples and forehead. As you breathe in and out, your body goes even deeper into relaxation. Next allow the light to permeate and embrace your jaw, relaxing it. Keep focusing your breath into each body part, allowing for a gentle softening and release.

Now move to your neck and your shoulders. With each breath you take, this radiant healing light releases all tension, replacing it with a deep sense of harmony and balance.

Now move to your chest. Allow this radiant light to move into your lungs. Breathe in and out. Next move into your heart, filling it with light. As you do this, set the intention that your innate intelligence is transforming every cell of your body, releasing any and all past programming based on fears of the unknown. Repeat the following: It is now safe to change. When I make changes that are authentic, I always win. I can trust myself to move forward into the unknown.

Return your focus to your heart and ask to be shown a symbol that represents an answer to any question you have about making changes now. When the symbol appears, ask to be shown its message. What is the next step?

Now take another extra deep breath into your heart. You’re now releasing the structure of your old life with positive expectancy. A new behavioral groove is developing. Throughout the day ahead, if you experience fear, you can automatically take a long, deep breath, relaxing your body. You can now ask for guidance from universal intelligence, listen to the message, and act in accordance with its wisdom. If you don’t hear anything, set the intention that the answer will come spontaneously at another time. Just know that you are now imprinted with this new pattern as you deal with stress.

Now bring your awareness back to your heart, placing both hands over it. This is your anchor. From now on, when you place your hands over your heart, it will center you and allow you to use your breath to soften and receive. With daily practice, this will allow you to adapt more easily and effortlessly to both expected and unexpected change. You now make changes and resolve conflicts much more rapidly because you are in the flow. As crises present themselves, you now access solutions through a nervous system that has been programmed for adaptability. You respond with humor and lightness to what would have once triggered fear of loss. You’re now spreading this light to every person you meet. At the end of the day, experience yourself feeling more balanced. You can close with this affirmation: I am now at peace. I am now in deep gratitude. I experience the world as the same. And so it is done.

Ask the LifeQuake™ Doctor

Dr. Toni Galardi

Dear Dr. Toni:

Terrified in Toronto

Dear Friend:

Before you can resolve the outer decision about your business, it is important to learn how to quiet the mind and the nervous system so that you can access your inner wisdom.

When we are at peace within, not only are we able to get to our gut intuition, but we can open to a universal intelligence. Albert Einstein spoke about the idea that there is an unlimited force in the universe that we can tap into for answers. Here is an exercise from my book The LifeQuake Phenomenon and The LifeQuake Method CD that can help to calm your brain and nervous system to allow for greater access to creative solutions.

Re-patterning Your Blueprint Meditation

Continue breathing in and out. As you breathe in now, allow your entire brain to be bathed in this light. If you find it easy to visualize, see it gently entering into the top of your head and permeating the entire circumference of your brain. If visual imagery doesn’t come readily for you, simply allow for a feeling to emerge as light enters into your crown and surrounds your head. The key is to have the intention of receiving your full potential self. This light is imprinting a new pattern into the neuropathways of your brain. Now allow this light to expand and spread through your entire nervous system. You don’t have to know how to do this. Just breathe it in with your intention.

Now move to your neck and your shoulders. With each breath you take, this radiant healing light releases all tension, replacing it with a deep sense of harmony and balance.

Now move to your chest. Allow this radiant light to move into your lungs. Breathe in and out. Next move into your heart, filling it with light. As you do this, set the intention that your innate intelligence is transforming every cell of your body, releasing any and all past programming based on fears of the unknown. Repeat the following: “It is now safe to change. When I make changes that are authentic, I always win. I can trust myself to move forward into the unknown.”

Now bring your awareness back to your heart, placing both hands over it. This is your anchor. From now on, when you place your hands over your heart, it will center you and allow you to use your breath to soften, receive rebalancing, and adapt. With daily practice, this allows you to adapt more easily and effortlessly to both expected and unexpected change. You now make changes and resolve conflicts much more rapidly because you are in the flow. As crises present themselves, you now access solutions through a nervous system that has been programmed for adaptability. You respond with humor and lightness to what would have once triggered fear of loss. You’re now spreading this light to every person you meet. At the end of the day, experience yourself feeling more balanced. You can close with this affirmation: “I am now at peace. I am now in deep gratitude. I experience the world as the same. And so it is done.”

To submit questions for Ask the LifeQuake Doctor, contact Dr. Toni Galardi through www.LifeQuake.net or DrToni@LifeQuake.net (no period after the Dr). For those seeking private consultation, Dr. Toni can be reached at 310.712.2600. This column appears in Vision Magazine on the stands and online – http://www.visionmagazine.com/archives/0907/Lifequake.html

May 13 2009

Heaven on Earth: How to Transform Chaos and Seeming Loss

Dr. Toni How to..., News catastrophic illness, chaos, healing the body, heaven, Project Heaven on Earth, stress, the lifequake phenomenon 20

A friend of mine, Martin Rutte who co-wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul at Work contributed to my new book The LifeQuake Phenomenon. One of his pet projects is a foundation he calls Project Heaven on Earth. One of the steps is to think back on a time when you experienced heaven on earth. Allow your body to fully remember what that felt like. I was feeling a little low today so I decided to think about that and what came to me when I did this exercise today was my wedding day. Now, what is interesting to me about that is I am now divorced and have been for a number of years. I married young and outgrew the relationship after 8 years.

Although it ended painfully, my mind chose to remember this particular day when I was very happy and in love. So often, when things end in our lives we forget there was a time when we did have a piece of heaven. Inherent in the disintegration of something that is no longer viable is chaos. The stress of life being out of our control can lead us to react as though we were now in hell not heaven. So, how do you create heaven inside whatever chaos is going on in your life today?

Begin by training your mind to look for evidence of heaven. Where is the heaven in your relationships? Where is the heaven in your job search if you’ve lost your job? Where is the heaven in your body if you are confronting catastrophic illness? If we look for evidence to support that life has gone to hell in a hand basket, we will find it. If we look for evidence that there is grace, we will find it. Once you have found the evidence for heaven on earth in your life, repeat the affirmation, ” I am living heaven on earth now.” Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, public speaker and author. She can be reached through her website, http:www.LifeQuake.net or her office at 310-712-2600 and is on twitter.com/lifequake and facebook.

chaos

Dr. Toni

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