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August 2018

Change Management in my Third Act Career

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Ask the LifeQuake Doctor/Sep-Oct Counselor Magazine

 

Dear Dr. Toni:

I am not an addict so this may not be your typical letter asking for advice. My wife, however, is a newly licensed psychotherapist who carries this magazine in her office.

To give you a little back story: she went back to school when our kids got into high school and then was an intern for two years and now is a full fledged therapist in her first office. Our kids are away at college. I am a businessman. There is a 10 years age difference between us. Not only is she in private practice, but she also is a political activist for children’s rights.

I have had a very successful career but at age 60 but am wanting to gear down more and possibly retire in two years. We can well afford it. My wife on the other hand, is ready to go big in her career. I have been having disturbing dreams in which I find out she isn’t a therapist but has become a famous actress or is being pursued by men closer to her age or younger. I also have had dreams about being naked in public and feeling uncomfortable.

I trust my wife. She has given me no reason not to trust her but I have become increasingly insecure lately. Sometimes she makes plans that don’t involve me with her girlfriends on the weekend and doesn’t consult me first and it bothers me. She has always been very independent, even as a housewife and mother when our kids were young but I did feel she needed me more then.

I don’t know if I should talk to her about this or work it out myself. I don’t want her to think of me as being unmanly or hung up on aging and I don’t know, quite frankly, what she can do about it anyway.

What do you think, doc? Should I talk to her about this?

Confused in Newport

Dear Reader:

Part of having a truly intimate relationship involves sharing your vulnerability. Your dream about being naked in public and feeling uncomfortable indicates that your persona is changing. You are being called by your soul to be more transparent and it feels scary. I would encourage you to first sit with this vulnerability without trying to change it at all. Breathe into it and allow it to feel safe with you, unjudged. Notice if it shifts. As you become more comfortable with your “emotional nakedness”, bring her into your awareness. Call upon your higher self (the full potential you) and ask this part to speak non-verbally to your wife about your fears. Notice how she responds in your mind’s eye. How does that feel now on a scale of 1-10, 10 being strongest?

If your anxiety has dissipated to a 3 or less, then it is time to share your process with your wife.

When a couple becomes empty nesters, it is time to redefine the contract you have had and update it. As your wife is becoming more visible in the community and thus having greater commitments, there is an opportunity for you to explore personal development of your own. I recommend getting the catalogue for Esalen in Big Sur, California and The Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York. As you become less of the hunter/provider, workshops could provide opportunities for inner exploration. As you grow, you have something to bring back to your relationship to share that in some ways is a part of her world too since she is professionally going into the world of psycho-spiritual growth.

I would also recommend that you think about a trip that would be an adventure or spiritual quest of some kind that you do solo. All of these experiences not only will evolve you but also provide the material for juicy conversations when you return to one another that maybe your business life did not. Having the economic freedom you now have can allow you to take on your bucket list while still staying connected to your spouse.

Given that she is a therapist and not an actress (lol), she will most likely find your curiosity and enthusiasm for your newly created life very attractive. All people are attracted to people who have lives that turn them on.

There is a great Act 3 waiting for you and opportunity for you both to grow as you shed the roles of Mom and Dad as a predominant theme in relating to one another. In my work as a career coach, I love working with people who  are entering what I call Act 3 – the final 1/3 (hopefully) in their lives. Most babyboomers do not want to retire in their 60’s, but like the Millenials want their lives to have meaningful purpose. Keep the dialogue between you open as you both make this transition and I see great things ahead for your marriage and your individual paths.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, author of The LifeQuake Phenomenonand a well known consultant/expert on career repurposing as part of recovery in the addiction field.

If you have a question for The LifeQuake Doctor, you can write to her through: drtoni@drtonigalardi.comor by calling 310-890-6832. She works by phone and SKYPE in private practice. Her website is http://www.thelifequakedoctor.com

 

 

Advice on Love Addiction – Counselor Magazine july 2018

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Dear Dr. Toni:

I am a recovering love addict and per my program took a year off from dating. I went online with a dating service and have been really shocked at how quickly men expect you to show physical affection toward them. Granted, I am 60 and my generation were much freer about sex in our college and 20’s years but darn, 60 something year old men  want to kiss you on the first date and get mad because you want to get to know them and see if they are friend material first. I’ve been doing this for 6 months now and am getting discouraged.

My question is this, am I wrong for wanting to spend 3 months developing a friendship first? Will I never meet some one if I don’t give out within the first month? Should I think about women as an alternative choice?

Exasperated in Minnesota

Dear Reader:

First off, I want to applaud you for going one whole year into sobriety. That is a huge first step for a love addict. Secondly, given that you are now past your first year, perhaps there might be people to meet who also are sober dating. Do you go to meetings for any other twelve – step programs? You might consider going to Alanon meetings if you have co-dependency issues as well. Many love addicts do. There may be people in this culture who will have more respect for you.

You might also consider being bold and putting in your profile on the dating site that you are in recovery and seeking a man who is willing to go slow and develop a friendship first. You might not get as many people interested, but it will weed out the guys who have a different pace than you.

Another possibility is to do some research on non-profit organizations and volunteer your time at charity events that are raising money for a cause you believe in. A man who is humanitarian might be the type to also volunteer.  I hope this helps.

Do not give up faith that you will meet a man who is the right match for you. Keep your intention clear and your self value and self respect high, you will magnetize that person.

 

Dear Dr. Toni:

I think I might be agoraphobic.  I do go out but I prefer to stay at home.  I live alone and sometimes I get lonely but crowds make me nervous and group functions drain me. I do like one on one interactions in my home with friends but people like to meet you places and do things and I end up getting tired after about two hours and want to go home so I am thought of as a drag. I have a job but I work from home using the internet as part of my work. Is it wrong to prefer to be at home rather than out in this crazy, chaotic world we live in? One of my friends thinks I need meds for my social anxiety. I don’t have panic attacks when I’m out, just feel mildly uncomfortable.  I would say what bothers me the most is that I am single and you have to go out to meet people. Do you have any suggestions as to what to do about this?

Home Confinement Addict

Dear Reader

Well, I don’t think you are agoraphobic from what you have described. It doesn’t sound like your anxiety reaches unmanageable levels. What may be going on is that you are an HSP – Highly Sensitive Person. HSP’s are drained by groups and have to clear their energy upon returning home from being with people.

HSP’s are often highly creative and introverted. Georgia O’Keefe the painter was an HSP. Many great artists spent large amounts of time away from the world but used the time to create great works of art. With FaceTime and Skype you can meet people online and screen them before ever meeting them. When you read people’s profiles, pay attention to what they like to do. If they are a very active person physically, delete. If the person appears shy or introverted, talk to them on the phone or above mentioned apps, and see if they too are highly sensitive. There are seminars and conferences designed specifically for HSP’s. Check them out. These may be the friends and lovers who would have the most empathy and compassion for your inclinations. Some people are just home bodies.  It doesn’t necessarily mean you are addicted to your home. Empaths just feel more comfortable in environments that are quiet and calm. The key is to tell the truth in your profile if you do decide to do online dating.  Being authentic will draw the right people to you.

Dr. Toni Galardi is a licensed psychotherapist, author of The LifeQuake Phenomenon and is a well known expert on career repurposing as part of recovery in the addiction field. Dr. Galardi also trains therapists to be coaches in her method of career repurposing coaching.

If you have a question for The LifeQuake Doctor, you can write to her through: drtoni@drtonigalardi.comor by calling 310-890-6832. She works by phone and SKYPE in private practice. Her website is http://www.thelifequakedoctor.com

 

 

Solar eclipse in Leo Healing Fear Newsletter and Recording

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Wow! What intense energy has been coming through everyone’s lives lately, no? Yesterday, we began the next and final solar eclipse for the year in the sign of Leo. For the next few days, we are in the power of a super new moon energy. This is a good week for starting new projects. If you can wait util next week, even better when Mercury goes direct.
If you haven’t set your intention yet for the next five months, here is another opportunity attached here through the replay of the solar eclipse healing transmission that I co-led with Daniela Carraro, a very gifted Qi Gong teacher and healer. We began weaving the intentions of everyone who participated days in advance right up to the program.
Even if you participated, I invite you to listen to it again and feel a deeper restructuring of your body/mind/spirit. Due to technical glitches, we had to re-record the opening and closing ( thank you Mercury!). The deep hypnotic state this recording produces will allow you to put clear, deeply relaxed, unblocked enthusiasm behind your intentions.
Please make sure you have a glass of water and something to write on and with (along with your written out intentions for the rest of the year).
There will be an opportunity during Daniela’s healing transmission to speak your intention out loud so please listen to this when you are in a quiet place and can be alone without phones or computer going.
On some people’s computer, the replay will give you a choice of apps, click on Music player for Google Drive. There is a little arrow at top on my iPhone that you click on after clicking on the link below and then it immediately takes you there.
We are launching a new program that includes this recording as the first, which is our gift to you. You are invited to further participate In a once a month tune up on the new moon for the next five months that will include the first Solar Eclipse of the new year on Jan.6th, 2019.
As every new moon is a new cycle for beginning new intentions, you will have two hours with us each month where you will have an opportunity to ask questions and/or share your intentions with the group support each month to help you launch a solid yet agile foundation as you move into the “rock and roll year of 2019” which really begins on January 6, not January 1st, astrologically speaking.
We have an early bird discount of $197 for the entire 10 hours with two powerful Italian healers. Heh, my mission is change mastery, Italian style so you get to experience two blonde Italian teachers for the price of one! This price is only good until Monday, Aug 20. The price will go up to $247 until Aug 27 and for anyone signing up after that until Sep 9th, the day of the next new moon, the cost will be $297. Although we are so gratified that we had such a big response to this program yesterday, we really want a select group of people to get personal support from us for manifesting miracles this year. The participants in this program are people who are committed to having a breakthrough, so we are limiting the number to 30 people total.
Although these will also be available on replay, (no more new moons during a mercury retrograde, yea!), here are the new moon dates: Sunday, Sep 9th 7:00 PM, PDT Monday October 8th at 7:30 PM, PDT, Wed. Nov 7th 7:00 PM PST, Friday Dec 7, 9:00 AM, PST, and the next Solar Eclipse, Sunday January 6, 9:00 AM, PST 2019.
The next new moon program on Sep 9th will begin just a few days after Saturn goes direct. I have been advising my clients to work with the Saturn retrograde on where your internal blocks to success live now. I will be teaching you how to use rather than be abused by Saturn (rules the father archetype in each of us, how do we provide and protect ourselves, as well as, our mission and purpose in life) for achieving your deepest dreams tangibly. Daniela will then give us a healing transmission for releasing the karmic barriers that Saturn extends in our soul blueprint and you will have an opportunity to verbalize to the group and the world your intentions for that month.
To get the early bird discount and save $100, go to drtonigalardi.com/products and scan down to bottom of page to pay on Activating Miracles on the New Moon Series.
I am also extending to anyone reaching out to me from this newsletter, a full soul blueprint reading or 90 min healing session with me for $300 (normally $400), until the end of August.
Here is my complimentary gift to you. May it heal you in the best possible way!
Remember, if you are listening on your computer, click on the open arrow to access Google Drive.
The last healing can be listened to over and over for deeper transmutation.
Con Molto Amore,

Dr. Toni

Free Global Activation Solar Eclipse Workshop – Register

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“God shapes the world by prayer. The more praying there is in the world the better the world will be, the mightier the forces of the light.”
Mother Teresa
“In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link.”
Carlos Castaneda
There is no estimating the power to manifest one’s intention through a group of high minded people.
Here
Please call in 5 minutes before if you have not used zoom before so we will be ready to go, remember, Mercury is in retrograde.
If you have not contacted me or have forwarded this information to register, please do so through drtoni@drtonigalardi.com. The cut off is 100 people.
 I will cover what the energy of this summer is bringing and how to use it in the Fall, the significance of these three eclipses that we wont see again for 2 hundred years, and how to receive these three eclipses to support the new imprint into your very own matrix. Daniela and I will both be taking you through very powerful visualizations to bring this new energy deep into your cells.  When you sign up through email, you will have an opportunity to send us your intention for the next six months that will be weaved into our sacred energetic basket that you begin to step into when you sign up.
As this is a solar eclipse in Leo, the archetype that rules play, creativity, love, and leadership, come create your intention with two playful, heart centered, Italian shamanic teachers in this sacred, global circle where desires and rewiring can be manifested quickly in the next six months!
If you haven’t already, contact me asap through drtoni@drtonigalardi.com . This will fill up.
Looking so forward to having you participate with us!
Molto Amore,
Dr. Toni and Daniela

Solar Eclipse in Leo and A Week of Great Acceleration

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“True freedom is when all the stories, all the insights, all the realizations, concepts, beliefs and positions dissolve. What remains is what you are; a vast, conscious, luminous space simply resting in itself, not knowing a thing, at the point where all things are possible.”
“Om is the God of love. Like a loving mother, Chanting Om cleans us of our clutters collected through many incarnations.”
“
The Summer of Great Change – August Eclipse
In all of my 27 years as an astrologer, I can honestly say I have never seen such a line up of intense light pouring onto the planet as the last 6 weeks, and next week it ratchets up even further. The frequency shift is reconstructing us all, if we let it.
The week leading up to the last solar eclipse of the year on August 11 is a doozy! I know I sound repetitive from what we experienced leading up to the lunar eclipse but it is that kind of summer, folks.
Before I get into next week’s “excitement”, I want to invite you to a free event I am co-leading with Daniela Carraro to celebrate the solar eclipse and the ushering in of the next six month cycle. Details are below but please email me at drtoni@drtonigalardi.com if you want to be a part of this event. Space is limited to 100 people.
Uranus (the great awakener and planet that triggers earthquakes and lightning bolts) will station retrograde on August 7 until January 6th, 2019, the very same day as the next solar eclipse in Capricorn. On Tuesday, this will give us six planets retrograde on the same day that the moon is void (stay grounded), including Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Neptune and Pluto.
Having six planets retrograde is a very rare occurrence, happening only less than 1% of the time, that’s 2/3 of one percent. Mars is not only retrograde but also out-of-bounds for three days (allowing for the energy to be unconstrained by other planets), adding to the intensity of the chaotic collective energy we are all creating. As the god of war, Mars energy stimulates  extremism at this time, creating an atmosphere ripe for accidents and outbursts of focused anger.
A shooting in Trader Joe’s, earthquakes, and political volatility escalating, all exemplified this in recent weeks. The dominant planetary energy will be fixed, very Taurus in nature. Taurus’ hate change. Wherever the planet Taurus is or rules in your natal chart may be where you resist change and seek external security the most. These six planets retrograde bring a feeling of being stuck, or mired down as forward progress seems difficult at best, due to unexpected delays and roadblocks. If I were the universe and I wanted humans to take a break from DOING so much and focus on BEING, I would have planned it this way. Spend as much time as you can for the next 10 days, releasing the past and all your old stories about yourself. Emotional and mental detoxing is the doing to be doing.
Further, it is always important to be uber aware when either Mercury or Mars are retrograde, but because we have four days that the moon is void next week (which by itself can make people spacy, feisty, and unaware as they drive the freeways, and apparently… do their food shopping!), please move more slowly, meditate daily if you can, drink lots of water laced with trace minerals, chant Om to yourself all day long and commune with nature. Get your cute little dew beaters (look that one up!) into Mother Earth as much as possible.
What also to do: I would invite you to make a point on Aug 3, 7th, 9th, and 11th( the spaciest days)  to visualize extending your auric field out by 3-6 ft in a bubble of light safe and loved by all whom you come into contact with while projecting that to others as well as you move through your life while your root chachra is connected downward toward Gaia.
Although the new moon solar eclipse is on August 11 at 2:57AM PDT, it immediately goes void until 9:30 PM PDT, that night. What we know about the energy of intentions is that because the moon rules our emotional body, we won’t feel the crystallization of the intention until it reaches the sign of Virgo. When the moon is void, there isn’t the fire of connectivity that happens when it aspects another planet.
So, once again, to support all of you, I am co-leading a 90 – minute invocation and workshop on Sunday morning, August 12th with Daniela Carraro, a gifted healer and Qi Gong master teacher. This is my gift to you. Space is limited so sign up and we will send the link for this online event: drtoni@drtonigalardi.com
 I will cover what the energy of this summer is bringing and how to use it in the Fall, the significance of these three eclipses that we wont see again for 2 hundred years, and how to receive the archetypes of Cancer, Leo, and Aquarius through these three eclipses as they are imprinted in your very own matrix. We both will be taking you through very powerful visualizations to bring this new energy deep into your cells.  When you sign up, you will have an opportunity to send us your intention for the next six months that will be weaved into our sacred energetic basket that you begin to step into when you sign up.
As this is a solar eclipse in Leo, the archetype that rules play, come play with us in this powerful circle where desires and rewiring can be manifested quickly in the next six months! Contact me asap through drtoni@drtonigalardi.com for the link. This will fill up.
.
Molto Amore,
Dr. Toni

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